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Friday, April 22nd, 2005
11:51 am - Lol...
Well, I figured I'd check in for my yearly update hahahaha. Got a message off a girl from Bridgno which is cool. Can't really say much is new, still at uni, still fuckin obsessed with james hetfield heheh SAD (but true) erm big fan of my heavy metal still, I fucking LOVE PUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...gone a bit pug obsessed...what else hmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nothing much, still with james hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

well, goes to show in the year I've been away nothing new has happened at all. Something will probably come to mind but can't be arsed right now...got exams coming up etc should be revising but i'm pissing around hehehe....

bye bye

current mood: pensive

(KiSS KiRK)

Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
11:07 pm - Wowwzers!
I didn't actually believe my journal would still be here. Well, well well, I read it all and golly gosh I was a very angry person. I'm (kind of) normal now although I'm at uni - the University Of Aberystwyth, Wales to be exact and fucking hell, some of the people here PISS ME OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF but thats a long long story that I can't be bothered to tell. Me and James are going strong as ever, soon to be 3 years on june 28th and wow he passed his driving test and is driving and i'm ever so proud of him :D and also, the best thing is that he's moving here to live with me next year YAY!!!!!!!! so it's like being a married couple which is awesome. so me n james have survived the 1st year of being away from each other altho its been very very hard. but we get a nice summer as a reward so thats pretty cool. you know, i still hate chuck, he will always and forever be a cunt. hahaha can't think of anything else to write, can i really be bothered? next update 2005!

current mood: uncomfortable

(11 KiSSeSs | KiSS KiRK)

Monday, June 16th, 2003
10:34 am - A year later...don't worry I'm not dead
Well...hmmm. what to say? I thought I'd look to see if this is still here....and it is. Well schools over....forever....FOREVER! It's sorta sad, sorta good. I'll miss some people (but definatly not others nyhahahah) but I'm not gonna miss the work coz it SUX. Fuck, I can't think of all the things that have happened. Me and James are still going strong...thats nearly 2 yrs now! Erm....just so much stuff has changed and oooo I've seen some more bands lets think KORN! soulfly, sugarcoma (like 5 times now) erm...placebo and...I'M GOING TO READING TO SEE METALLICA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
My dream come true! Ooooo, I'm gonna do my best to moleste james hetfield/rob trujillo, i'm not fussy really. Hmmm I feel like making a website...yes in fact, I feel inspired. Hmmmm....i know what the topic will be.
Hmm...wel got some exams soon...french tomorrow....blah don't really care, I've finished as far as i'm concerned coz i took the final exam in jan and got an A. WQhy do i need to take it again and put myself under stress. Although I have 2 chem on the 24th...thats the stressful one :( i'm gonna fuck that up.
I really can't think of anything major thats happened in my life. I've made new friends...lost touch with people...and been on a plane for the first time. yay majorca. i've been under alot of stress...i'm going away to go to uni soon and my baby james is staying here :( He wants to be in the fire service so thats what he's gonna do. He's finally learning to drive so it'll be possible for us to see each other on weekends and stuff (and there's always the train) but I don't know what to make of uni yet. I am well excited even thought its 3 months+ away but i am so scared at the same time. i don't want to be away from james for all that time because we spend every day together and it's gonna be so hard because i'm gonna be out there meeting new people etc etc etc etc and he's gonna be in this old town still. I'm sure it'll all be ok.
Maybe I'll post in this again soon and start it up again. I think I will :)
Bye for nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

current mood: calm

(1 KiSSeS | KiSS KiRK)

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002
10:24 am - Kanga

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!


current mood: amused

(2 KiSSeSs | KiSS KiRK)

10:18 am - LOL


What Condom Are You?


current mood: amused

(KiSS KiRK)

9:55 am - I nicked this coz it was cool :)
BASICS
1. Boyfriend's name: James
2. Hair/eyes:
Hair: Light Brown
Eyes: Dark Brown yummy
3. His Height: 6' / 6'1
Your height: 5' lol
4. His age: 17
Your age: 17
5. Dating since: 28th June 2001

SURVEY
1. First actual date - erm cinema I suppose - what a good film tomb raider was LOL

2. Who asked who out? I told him I liked him but he said no :'( then he asked me out - what a silly moo

3. Where/when did the asking take place? At the Yr 11 leavers dinner hehe

4. Describe your first kiss: hehehe well we were in the commom room @ school and we just started kissing and then it progressed and it was nice :)

5. When did you meet him? Well, I always knew him in school but I never spoke to him :) Then I sat on his table in Geog and it went from there

6. Worst qualities: Hmmm he farts too much lol and sometimes he gets jealous of my admirers lol

7. Best physical feature: ooooooo its all good! I like his eyes and his tummy and his dick lol

8. Best emotional qualities: He's very understanding and caring and I can talk to him bout anything anf he won't tell a soul

9. Favorite outfit for him to wear: No outfit plz

10. Favorite place to cuddle: Bed :)

11. Type of cologne he wears: hmm dont know

12. Do you ever argue? Yeah :(

13. Favorite school event to attend together: Wah? lessons?

14. Best thing he's ever done for you: He made me confident and feel ok when things were going wrong

15. Said "I love you" yet? Yea! Course.

16. Do you perform sexual favors for him? Lol yeah but they're not "favours" :)

17. If so, which is your favorite? well....hmmmmmm

18. Do you have sex? Yeah :)

19. If not, how far have you gone? All the way

20. Seen each other naked? yeah :)

21. If so, when was the last time? hmm yesterday :O!

22. When was the first time? first time we did it? September 2001

23. When was the last time you kissed? yesterday night

24. Favorite type of kiss together? hmmmmmmmm passionate tongue type kisses

25. Do you tease him? Yes I'm evil

26. Is it easy to turn him on?: Heheheh yes

27. What's your favorite way to tease him, if you do? :O cockteasing lol!

28. Best movie you've seen together: erm MURIELS WEDDING YAY

29. Worst movie you've seen together: ol dunno, we tend not to watch them

30. His favorite outfit of yours: erm....i know but im not saying

31. Favorite thing he's given you: my ring :D

32. Favorite thing you've given him: hmmmm my ring :) (we're not married tho)

33. Favorite date: erm....staying in :)

34. Thing you regret most that you did during your relationship: havign a go at him and fighting with him

35. Does his family like you? No :s

36. Does your family like him? Yeah they love him :)

37. Say something to sum your relationship up: Perfect :)

current mood: loved

(KiSS KiRK)

9:35 am - Man, I forgot again
Haha, oh what it's been...oh about 4 months? Lol. Maybe I should start doing this again but I don't really feel mental anymore - I feel quite happy and it's funny reading what I've wrote coz lots of things have changed now..Sally's with Alex, Collinge is with Liz, Chuck's with Emily although he's always flirting with Hannah B etc etc. At the moment I don't really care it's half term, YAY and I can see James everyday and do fuck all.
Well, what's happened - man loads of stuff - I saw Incubus and Kittie - that was cool. I can't be arsed really heeeheeee

current mood: happy

(KiSS KiRK)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2001
4:56 pm - I Keep Forgetting To Write In This Thing...
Well, as far as I can think, nothing much is going on - well nothing important. I do have a bit of gossip but its under wraps :D
Well, I've done most of my xmas shopping and I gotta go to the doctors on friday so i think I will take time out of THE WITCHS french lesson. Nyhahahaha. Thats all for now.

current mood: relaxed

(KiSS KiRK)

Sunday, December 9th, 2001
8:06 pm - Me? A Dress? eeks
Well, I spent the weekend at james's house and i slept over for the 1st time so that was cool but we didnt sleep together or anything because unfortunatly they have a spare room...so then on the saturday, we went shopping and i got most of my xmas presents and also a dress for the ball :) yay so that was it really...i had a good weekend...but i've had a bad week....my parents are being cruel to me and my friends were but arent anymore...i wrote a couple of poems:

Secrets

If only they knew all the secrets that lie
And are buried deep at the back of my mind
Then they wouldn't judge me and criticise
And damage, then stretch and sever the ties.

Maybe this is the way it's supposed to be
I'm one girl, on my own, it's just me
With one person to make me truly happy
Nothing is right and you can't even see.

I sat and I watch you: You made me cry
I listened and cringed: Shatter my pride
When you say these things, well just sometimes
I don't want to live, I want to die.

I can't let you down: I can't please the rest
I can't treat you right yet I do my best
I can't be myself but myself is a mess
I can't pass this: my whole life is a test

You pretend but you don't know me
I cut myself because I am unhappy
I'm scared. I have some sort of disease
An infection that's inside my body.

You will never understand.
Some of you I hate.
You don't know that
Do you mate?
My family thinks I'm a wreck
Didn't know that aswell.
I'm not right.
Can't you tell?
There's so many secrets.
That you never knew.
Not because I'm scared
Just because they're true.

Psychopathic girl
That's how it feels sometimes.
I feel so dead.
You are so blind.
These things inside my head,
Urging me to slash myself again.
See?

There's one person I love.
It sure as hell ain't me.


And also:

Home Sweet Home

Push my face into the dirt,
Stab me. Please make it hurt.
Abuse me like you always do
Only then can the hate seep through.
The one place I don't want to be,
At home with my family
But yet I'm here and all alone
In this place, it's not my home.
I can't escape, can't get away
But I can't stand another day
Enrage me like you always do
Then tell me to be nice to you.

Distant staring into space.
Take me away to some other place.
I've been this way before.
But now I want it more.
There once was a pretty blue sky,
Urging me towards suicide.
Now it's the cold black night
Push me some more and I just might.
Or you could save me instead
From the demons in my head
That helps to fuel my pain
IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE.

So there you go. It's just been hard for me to be honest and I dunno, theres too much shit going on but thats a whole different story.


Well, I'm off to see machine head tomoz, yayayayayayayyaayyayayayayaay! And I never wrote about One Minute Silence, dannnggggg so i will do that in a sec coz I like putting then in my memories. Thats all.


current mood: bored

(2 KiSSeSs | KiSS KiRK)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2001
4:28 pm - This entry is for Robin..and I'M BACK!
Yeah, I havent been online coz well, basically, I can't be fucked but guess what? Well yes I have a number of new crises and yes, one of them involves Chuck - | mean come on, you can't have a bitch fest without chuck right?
Well anyway, basically, I was talking to new girl emily and tafty yesterday about the whole deal with Chuck and 2well it looks like she's gone and told chuck everything we said but they ahve blamed it all on Taft and it's not fucking taft. I respect taft so much because he can tell me to my face what he thinks - and even though its not what I wanna hear then at least its honest. It's the same with robin, he told me today what he thought and that is great - it's Just collinge and chuck seem to think they are like the leaders off a group and they dragged me outside to interrogate me today and fucking hell, they bitch about taft "oh taft's been saying this, that and the other" when in all reality, he hasnt. Tafty hasn't been bitching about them and at least he is a good enough person to tell the truth - something that i know some people aren't doing to me. Wrll, for those people I'd like to give a big FUCK YOU!

So anyway yeah this entry is for robin coz he says I dont write in it: WELL LOOKY ROBIN!!!
Anyway, this next bit is controversial (if you know me ;)) so Robin, coz you'll probably read it so i trust byou won't go spreading this - coz this is where i bitch about everything and because you read it, well, just dont tell people.

Just, right this is coming straight out of my head as to how I feel right this very moment Roght, to be honest, i dont like chuck one little bit. i think hes a pathetic little shit stirerr, he fancies emily link and hes doesnt want his precious rep damaged and you know what i rerally what? To rip off his balls. and also, I'm pissed off with Hannah B because she keeps saying "get a room!!" shes just fucking jealous because her boyfriencs a cheating tosser and she wants James. that's what i think - maybe I'm jealous but she can fuck off. DONT YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE HAPPY.
and as for all the politics BULLSHIT , it personally makes me hate alot of people. there's two things I want right now: that's for all the people I ahte to go away and to have a night of sex with james - hehehehehhe


I think I should stop writing before my big mouth gets me in trouble but then again WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE! This is what I think and you can fuck yourselves if you don't like it.

current mood: pissed off

(1 KiSSeS | KiSS KiRK)

Monday, November 19th, 2001
4:35 pm - Stressful day!
Well, I still have my cold and today has just been crazy!!!!

Firstly Hannah found out that Aimee had messed around with Stu (hannah's b/f) and that Aimee is Hannah's best friend so that was well, tricky. But it turns out that Hannah isnt mad with Aimee but she has dumped Stu because Stu keeps denying it. So Hannah is ok I think.

And then Emily was upset bout Rob coz might dump her and it's just been ARGHHHH crazeeeee.

I tried to help but I dunno what to do.....well that's all.

I'm ill!!!

Bye.

current mood: sleepy

(2 KiSSeSs | KiSS KiRK)

Sunday, November 18th, 2001
9:47 pm - Grruuunnnngeeeee

I am 40% Grunge.



What's this? The longest I've been without a shower is three days? Not even close, man. I should go sit out in the rain for a week.

Take the Grunge Test at Fuali.com!


(KiSS KiRK)

9:38 pm - Metalllllllll
I am 38% Metal-Head.



Most other metal-heads acknowledge my presence, but they laugh at me behind my back. Maybe I need to stop spending all that money on haircuts and invest in a few Pantera T-shirts.


Take the Metal-Head Test at Fuali.com!

current mood: amused

(KiSS KiRK)

9:36 pm - frrrrreeeeak!
I am 37% ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET.



I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck!


Take the INTERNET-ADDICT Test at Fuali.com!

current mood: happy

(KiSS KiRK)

4:32 pm - *sniff* *blows nose* argh!
Well I went to James's yesterday which was nice but I felt really ill :( He did give me a great massage though. And he came round on Friday and that was cool...I've been feeling much better (mentally) and stuff....my problems seem to be going away which is great :) I cant be fucked to type anymore :)

current mood: tired

(KiSS KiRK)

Thursday, November 15th, 2001
8:54 pm - *snip snip* yay! - no, it's not a circumsicion.
Well, I had my hair cut pretty short, it rules coz its so much better to wash, comb etc! yay! and everyone seemed to like it so that gave me a nice confident boost :) That's bout it...tra la la

current mood: refreshed

(KiSS KiRK)

Tuesday, November 13th, 2001
7:49 pm - ***MUSE***
Well, muse was ok, I suppose........

We got to the place and went to have a pizza which was ncice and then queued for fucking ages and finally got in but got stopped at the door because "the arena wasnt safe" eep. so we got in and we shudda been on the balcony but hehe NAH! we went to the floor and watch 100 reasons, the support band n thye were good. and then we waited. and waited. and waited for Muse...i talked to Tom n his friends coz tbh my friends were being a bit strange. and then Muse came on and we were in the pit and i got crushed n headbutted - yeah this is at muse....sally and robin got out of the pit and buggered off to the back while me and hannah got squashed - it was good but i nearly fainted hehehehe :) Imma pussy! so anyway we got out, had adrink and went on the balcony and it was better up there....then we left and i got a stciker SIGNED by the bloke from 100 reasons WOOOOO :D and then we waited agesin the codl for hannah b to get her coat. typical. all in alll.....
Vicki says: Muse: 5/10

current mood: disappointed

(KiSS KiRK)

Sunday, November 11th, 2001
4:31 pm - M U S E T O N I G H T ! ! ! !
Yayayayayayayayaayayayayaya MUSE TONIGHT WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I forsee some aspects being good and some being bad but we'll go into that later!

Well I had a cool weekend....James came over on friday and we had a good time together as we always do :D And then staurday was cool, we dossed around adn then last minute I decided to go and watch him swim in Derby which is a 2 hr drive away :) heh parents werent happy but oh well :) so i wtached him swim *YUM* and then we came back on the coach and talked for ages and I made him cry :***( noooooooo i felt really bad about that.....i really felt like crying too but i couldnt and had 2 try and hld it together coz we were on a coach :( but james says its ok and it wasnt me (but i dont believe him :)) and i dunno...i just wish it didnt happen sometimes u know.....but everything is fine.....well I'm going to get rdy for MUSE yayayayayayayayyaya :D

current mood: excited

(KiSS KiRK)

Thursday, November 8th, 2001
5:49 pm - Brrrrrr!
My gosh it's freezing outside :( Oooo I just walked home in the cold from russian and GAH! I'M FREEZING MY ASS OFF.

Well I thought today would be utter shit but it turned out ok. I had a really stressful day though....French then my break was taken by the french women and then I spoke 2 the russian girl and then I had chemistry, then lunch with james that was cool and then german, then french then russian after school EEP! so today was just stressful and i'm tired and thats all for today.
Byesie.

current mood: tired

(KiSS KiRK)

Wednesday, November 7th, 2001
4:30 pm - Imma gonna kill joo
Hmmm well, I'm just sitting here, I'm downloading Metallica - Orion (instrumental) and it's a really nice song and I'm gonna get So What by Metallica too eheh.

Well my day was poop...I am so tired..and had some shit lessons..Mr Caton just keeps being an asshole to me - it's not my fault his geog lessons r boring :P and so my day in all wat kaka and i think i upset james at the end. I feel like such a fuckup. Bah I can't be fucked to write.

current mood: depressed

(KiSS KiRK)

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